Women are very hard to impress. It’ s not that we don’t care, but we’ve been subject to such inconsideration, that at this point- we’ve become cynical that the male race will ever be genuine. If you want a woman to swoon over you, you’re going to need to act cool, witty, and up your testosterone levels.

The five simple ways to get her to be completely smitten by you:


1. Learn how to play the guitar.
An actual guitar, not Hero. Learn a cord or two. Pretend. Just buy it and decorate a visible corner of your living room. Guitar screams creativity, mystery, and romance. Women have a twisted perception, created and molded by the Disney Empire, that one day you will turn into Casanova and serenade us with a love song. She’ll want to be your muse.


2. Dress with style, but still be straight.
A nice blazer with a salmon colored shirt and dark jeans is stylish. Rhinestones all over your purposefully torn jeans will make her think you raided her closet! No good.


3. Be “The Man”.
Open doors, pay for the first date, make sure she gets home safely. (Read: pay for her cab home/ drive her home/ walk her home. Do NOT walk her to the closest subway station.) Women TALK. If you want her to swoon for you, make sure her friends swoon for you too.


4. Have a sense of humor!
It’s no secret that women have this personality trait on the top of their list when looking for a man. It’s not about making her laugh, as much as it is about laughing at yourself. Women equate a sense of humor with confidence and security. For best reference, you want to be a mix of Ferries Beuller and the character that Jon Cusack plays in Serendipity. Don’t take life to seriously, and tell her you leave it all to fate.
Girls love that!


5. Stop being a douchebag.
Most of us are incapable of detecting if you’re going to be flakey when we first meet you, but waiting 6 days before you call us back? No one is that busy. Be considerate of us, and we’ ll just fall in love with you.