In the age of dating apps and social media, the search for love has taken on a new level of complexity. We curate our profiles, refine our messages, and present a version of ourselves optimized for attraction. Apple TV+’s most watched show Severance—which follows employees who undergo a procedure that separates their work and personal selves—offers an insightful parallel to the modern dating experience.
The “Severed” Self in Dating
Much like the workers of Lumon Industries, many daters today engage in a form of self-severance. There’s the polished, witty version of ourselves on dating profiles—the highlight reel that showcases our best angles and interests. Then, there’s the offline reality: our insecurities, awkward moments, and the mundane aspects of daily life. The gulf between these two selves can create a disconnect when online interactions transition to real-world encounters – the notion that your match was good on paper but the vibes were off in person.
Algorithmic Love: The New Corporate Overlord
In Severance, employees surrender their autonomy to an omnipotent corporate system. Similarly, modern dating is often dictated by algorithms designed to predict compatibility. While these systems promise efficiency, they also reduce your matches to a numbers game, where swiping fatigue and paradox of choice leave many feeling disillusioned. Just as Lumon employees struggle to reclaim agency over their own identities, daters must navigate a digital world that often prioritizes engagement metrics, where often you the user have to become an expert in algorithmic theory to make yourself more visible within the app.
The Burnout Factor
Finding a partner has increasingly begun to feel like a second job. Between crafting the perfect opening message, deciphering ambiguous replies, and actually getting to the date itself, the modern dating experience can be exhausting. Much like the “innies” and “outies” of Severance, there’s often a stark contrast between a person’s digital dating persona and their real-life self. Similarly, many people today find themselves trapped in an endless loop of ghosting, benching, and breadcrumbing, leading to online dating fatigue and disengaging with the app itself.
Breaking Free: Authenticity in the Digital Age
Just as Severance explores the consequences of extreme compartmentalization, modern dating highlights the challenge of bridging online interactions with meaningful, real-world connections. To break free from this cycle, daters must embrace vulnerability, authenticity, and mindful engagement—bringing their full selves to both their profiles and their dates.
As Severance reminds us, reintegration—both of self and of relationships—is the only way forward. In a world that increasingly demands compartmentalization, finding wholeness in love may be the most radical act of all.
