Whether it’s weeks, months, or years, a dating slump can be disheartening and demotivating. When we are fresh on the dating scene, we are invigorated by new people and experiences, but a slump inevitably comes with too many flops or too much time.
Sometimes dialing back and taking a break for self-care is a healthy way to avoid dating burnout. Love can’t be rushed after all. But if and when you’re ready and eager to get back out there, consider the following tips to keep moving forward.
Break routine
If you’re doing the same thing over and over and not seeing results, it’s time to switch it up. It is all too easy to fall into a routine when dating. By changing things up, you’ll also put the fun back in dating. For example, if you only date via apps, try a singles meetup group. If your first date is always dinner and drinks, try a coffee date or a picnic. Consider taking yourself out for dates! Part of the high of dating is the fun experiences, but you don’t always need someone else.
Get a second opinion
When we’re blinded by love, friends– and preferably those that have known you a long time –can sometimes do a better job of aligning us with the right people. Consider asking a trusted friend for their honest dating advice. For example, maybe they’ll tell you that you could better attract your type by changing up your style a little or give you advice on your dating profile. A second opinion never hurts. If you have a single friend, agree to return the favor or pay it forward.
Let go of your type
You could be in a slump because you’re only looking for and dating the same type of person that you’re initially attracted to and, in the process, missing out on a sea of compatible people and potential matches. Break out of your comfort or “attraction” zone and give some people a chance that you wouldn’t normally consider. You never know what you’re missing out on if you don’t give something new a try.
Talk to strangers
Forget what they say about strangers and proceed with caution. People are all too complacent with dating apps and may ignore the cute people they find around them because rejection in real life feels more real. Challenge yourself to shatter that illusion and put yourself out there more.
Outsource!
If you feel like you’re continually reaching a dead-end, have someone else do the searching for you and hire a matchmaker, like Agape Match. Matchmakers typically work by learning about your lifestyle, background, values, and even your love language and set you up with compatible partners. Matchmakers learn the more personal details you usually wouldn’t share upfront with a date, so your matches are much more compatible than a dating site or app where you make dates based on initial attraction and a few surface-level questions. And the fun part is that when you meet your match you can have fun puzzling together why you were matched and hit off the first date with a fun conversation game.
Set the date already
Instead of chatting with several people for weeks prior to the first date, just set the date. Talking too much before meeting can be a big waste of time and energy, especially if it doesn’t work out. There is a healthy medium. Chat enough to gauge your interest and then learn the rest on the first date. Talking too much beforehand can also lead to an awkward conversation where you’re struggling to talk about new things or remember the details of what they’ve already told you
weeks prior.
Build your confidence
Confidence is super attractive and one of the few traits that can be noticed within moments of meeting someone. Being single is the perfect time for some self-improvement. Some great ways to boost your confidence are working on your body language and posture, trying a new gym routine or form of exercise, and even tackling initial performance anxiety with an ed medication like Cialis or new form-flattering lingerie. Confidence naturally takes the pressure off your shoulders and allows you to go into dates more focused on if you’ll like your date rather than worrying if they’ll like you, which is a wonderful way to approach dating.
Clean up your social media (or dating profile)
One of the first things people do before meeting someone new is a little social media digging. If your profiles are public, you can be sure that it has been seen– and judged. And potential dates will intentionally or not judge you for things you said or did years ago. Clean up your social media and make sure if anyone were to search for you, you’re showing your best self. Facebook has a helpful “view as” feature that allows you to view your own profile as someone who is not already your friend. This can be a useful tool allowing you to see yourself through your dates’ eyes and understand what they come to the table with upon meeting you.
When you’re in a dating slump and your morale is low, remember that it’s better to be single than in an unloving relationship and trust that love often works in unexpected ways. Consider changing the way you approach dating, whether it be changing your “type,” asking for honest advice, hiring a matchmaker, or merely taking a pause.
