If you’ve watched Sex and the City, you might be familiar with the cat-and-mouse trope that plays out between Carrie and Mr. Big.
Carrie feels insecure in their relationship and seeks validation and reassurance. Mr. Big needs space and pulls away when things start to feel emotionally intense. It’s the classic anxious/avoidant dance.
This dynamic isn’t new. It’s been around since the beginning of time. It’s also caused millions of people to feel hurt, restless, and dissatisfied in their relationships.
Thankfully, Chris Rackliffe joined me on the Ask a Matchmaker podcast to talk about how those with anxious attachment styles can begin to heal and become more secure.Chris is a trauma healer, mental health advocate, and anxious attachment style coach. He’s managed to work through his own anxious attachment by healing his past trauma, learning the right language, and creating new neural pathways.
Here’s what he prescribes to his clients the day they sign up for coaching. It’s not rocket science, but it helps an anxious attacher not to self-abandon:
Make sure that your hydration is in check
Get enough sleep
Move your body, even if it’s just a 15-minute walk
Get outside
Try meditation and cold exposure
These practices also help regulate your nervous system and build a greater tolerance for stress. They allow you to reconnect with your body instead of disconnecting from your own needs by prioritizing someone else’s over your own.
We also talk about methods to combat codependency, such as emotionally diversifying, developing emotional permanence, and balancing independence with interdependence.
PLUS, we answer YOUR hotline questions!
Listen to the full episode on
YouTube,
Apple, or
Spotify. Remember to like, subscribe, and comment what you learned! If you’d like to hear more from Chris, follow him on
Instagram or
TikTok or visit his
website.
Post of the WeekEver heard of “protest behavior?”
When anxious attachers can’t get the validation they need from their partner, they’ll often (unconsciously) act out in unhealthy ways.
Let’s work together
