As a professional matchmaker and dating coach in NYC, I can honestly say that I’ve heard everything! My members (and random strangers, too) tell me what they’re looking for, all of their dating obstacles and behaviors, and even some Grade A dating gossip. They also tell me what they are NOT attracted to, and let me tell you, it’s not what you think it is.
The Most Inconsiderate People Ever
How to spot them: In their adopted habitat they walk among us and people can go on actual dates without even realizing that they are dating an inconsiderate person. It is only when we actually depend on these people for the most mundane task, like showing up on time, may we see their true colors.
However, in their native habitat, the NYC subway, this is where we can observe them for what they are: inconsiderate. They are usually doing one of two things: sitting on the subway, sprawled out as if on their couch during a HIMYM marathon or leaning against the pole, in that arrogant sort of way that infuriates you, making it impossible for you to hang on for dear life as the E takes a steep turn on 42nd street to head east.
Why you should avoid these people: Did you have sex on the sixth date and expect a phone call the next day? Do you want your birthday/ anniversary/ Christmas to be acknowledged? Do you expect the wait staff to get a deserving tip and not be treated badly? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you should not be dating an inconsiderate person because this person lacks the social aptitude to interact like a normal human being. They probably don’t even recycle.
The Person With The Most Unreasonable Expectations Ever
How to spot them: NYC is inundated with alpha types, which works quite well in business, but does not necessarily translate to personal relationships. Worst, you won’t know you’re on a date with a person with unreasonable expectations because either a) they won’t date you for the most idiotic reason (i.e. You’re 5’10” instead of 6ft when they are 5’2”. True story.) or b) you’re on that date, but within 5 minutes, you realize that this person has unreasonable expectations. The conversation resembles an awkward job interview, and they tell you that the ideal posi…. partner is someone that is perfect and ideal quality A, B, C, D because their perfect and ideal lives have only room with someone that is perfect and ideal. Are you still following me? God bless you.
Why you should avoid these people: If you’re a woman, you’ll never be hot enough. If you’re a man, you’ll never be tall enough, smart enough, funny enough, eclectic enough… These people are exhausting.
The Single Person With A Dating Blog
How to spot them: These people are oh-so-easy to spot if you do a good Google search. Do they have a twitter account, who’s bio says something like “dating and blogging through NYC. Come learn from my experience!” or “Just like Carrie Bradshaw, but with sneakers!” Maybe they have even invited you to read their blog! Oh, the cringe-worthiness of a single dating blogger, that is not an actual professional journalist or relationship expert. It’s mind boggling.
Why you should avoid these people: They are honestly only dating you for material, and if they tell you otherwise, they are lying. #SizeMatters kiddo.