If there were ever anything to spit in the face of matchmaking, it is Match.com outsourcing to a “matchmaking service” that will help you find someone based your ex’s face shape. Scratch that. If there were ever anything to spit in the face of logic, THIS. IS. IT.


As Mashable reports, Match.com partnered with Three Day Rule, a matchmaking service based in LA (of course), that uses facial recognition algorithms to help you find your match based on your “type”.


Three Day Rule’s Talia Goldstein offered Mashable this fond advice about love: “People have a type and it’s not necessarily about height or race or hair color, but a lot of it is about face shape.”


I can’t. Shut the front door. The back door. Close the windows. I’m going to scream. WHAT?!!!!!!!! Face shape! If only love were that simple. If only evolution were that simple. If only dating were that simple.


While the folks at Instant Chemistry are breaking down the doors with genetic matchmaking, and while I bust my butt looking for matches for my clients based on actual levels of compatibility like communication style, lifestyle, family values, political compass, Three Day Rule basically nods their heads and goes, “Remember the last five relationships that didn’t work out because you keep picking the same guys over and over again? Well, my shallow friend, I shall introduce you to his twin!”


Now, I totally understand that you need to be attracted to someone. I get that. We like what we like, but sometimes what we like really sucks. Why do we even like certain things that we do? At the end of the day, chemistry reins all, regardless if your next boyfriend has a chin with a dimple or a bald head.


This service has a $5000 price tag, and if you’ve ever wanted to burn money to be set up with someone with  the emotional baggage equivalent of a United Airlines terminal, this is it, because let’s face it: Anyone using this type of service, in this context, is a psychopath. We still remember how messy break ups are, right?  It astonishes me, as a business owner, that someone would be so inclined to spend money to be set up with someone that resembles a person to which a relationship did not succeed, AND ALSO be set up with someone who feels that YOU look like their ex.


This service will not work, and I abhor Match.com and Three Day Rule for cheapening the work that matchmakers do. Healthy, successful, fun relationships are not based off of “face shape”.  Face shape is not the par of measurement for the future parent of your children. Your life partner will not be determined because they have a heart shape face with cheek dimples. Life partnerships are founded on mutual respect, shared family and lifestyle values and communication patterns aligned to effectively give and receive appreciation, gratitude, and love.


If only Match.com and Three Day Rule understood that.