Matchmaker Maria on CBS Mornings

CBS Mornings Host:
“If you’re single and you’re looking for a date, the last couple of years have been tough because of this pandemic. According to one recent survey, 63% of Americans who are single and looking say it’s gotten a whole lot harder. Matchmaker Maria is doing what she can to help. Her real name is Maria Avgitidis—she’s a fourth-generation matchmaker, so she knows a thing or two. 

She’s become famous on social media for her dating advice. She says she has set up more than 5,000 dates and helped thousands of singles find their match. She’s also host of the podcast Ask a Matchmaker and CEO of Agape Match.”

“Good morning to you, Matchmaker Maria. I’m so glad you’re here.”

CBS:
“So what do you think is the biggest mistake men and women make? I always think on a first date you always have to play that very tedious game of getting to know you, which is just so draining, I think, and exhausting. What’s the biggest mistake both sexes make?”

Maria:
“I think the biggest mistake people put is the emphasis on having a spark on the first date, which can be varied based on how you’re sitting next to each other, what you’re talking about, and also, do you look like the photos if you met through online dating. 

What I always tell people is that the purpose of a first date is to go on a second date. And to determine that, you should ask yourself two questions: Did I enjoy myself? Am I still curious about them? If you say yes to both of those questions, you should go on a second date.”

CBS:
“So you say forget about finding the spark? Because I always think you should kind of click right away. You say no?”

Maria:
“No. Because spark is usually rooted in anxiety. And think about the few times that you may have felt the spark, and it still didn’t go anywhere.”

CBS:
“Yes.”

Maria:
“Right. So clearly, that’s not working as a method of trying to figure out, ‘Okay, is this the person for me?'”

CBS:
“When you say curious about this person, do you mean curious to keep chatting or curious to tear each other’s clothes off? I mean that’s part of the game.”

Maria:

 “Why not both?”

CBS:
“Ok, both. They don’t have to be exclusive, right?”

Maria:
“No, it’s not mutually exclusive. It could be both. I’ve set up—as Gayle said—I’ve set up more than 5,000 first dates at this point. And one of the things that we see sometimes is that people will go on a fantastic first date, it’ll be three hours long, but they don’t want to see each other again.

Why?” It’s not for lack of spark. It’s not because they weren’t attracted to each other. Usually, it’s because—excuse me—usually it’s because, ‘I got everything I needed to know from them. I’m good.'”

CBS:
“Should people trust their head, their heart, or… region more southern?”

Maria:
“So one of the things that I tend to promote is not having sexual relations—or sex, rather—right away when you first start dating someone. Because I think that can be a distraction in getting to know someone from an emotional compatibility standpoint.”

CBS:
“What qualifies as right away? 

I never think sex on a first date is good—under even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t just on GP because I remember my grandmother saying, ‘Why—he won’t buy the cow if he can get the milk for free.’ I never thought of myself as a cow, but I do think that there’s something about that. Do you?”

Maria:
“So I think one of the things that I popularized is the 12-date rule method.”

CBS:
“What’s your definition of a date?”

Maria:
“People think 12 dates is a lot, but it’s really two and a half weeks for most people. Okay, so to me, a date is anything that is—excuse me—a phone call, a video call, or an in-person date that is 20 minutes to three hours. You can have up to two dates in one day. And this method is a way to make you intentionally get to know someone to discover, are you emotionally compatible before going to the next step.

One of the things in that method is seeing that you might not get to 12 dates with people, because you’ll recognize, They don’t really treat me well when I’m having a good day or when I’m having a bad day, or I don’t know if they’re necessarily emotionally resilient enough for me. And it takes away the distraction of sex.”

CBS:
“One of the things you also help people with is their digital profiles. I mean, we were saying earlier—we didn’t date in the era of apps. Well, I did, but I always prefer being out there in the wild. The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat—that’s just the part that I like. Digital—I don’t think I look good on paper.”

 “First of all, you definitely do.”

“I don’t think so. I don’t think I would rate on paper.”

Maria:
“You do. But you experienced analog dating. And you were mentioning before we started taping, I guess, that your nephew is 18 and he’s never experienced analog dating—and he probably never will, because his generation has only known digital dating.

So with that being said, yes, we do take over—as a matchmaking service—we obviously do traditional matchmaking, but we also have an online dating management service where we take over the online dating profile experience. None of the dating fatigue.”

CBS:
“I do like that. Asking for a friend—how much do you charge?”

Maria:
“We’ll talk about that later.”

CBS:
“We’ve been promoting all morning about—you say wear the color green. Why is that?”

“I’m wearing it now. Tony is wearing a Porsche.”

 “Wow. Yes!”

Maria:
“When I was single and—even in dating—whenever I wear green, I noticed that everyone comes and talks to me. I’ve been promoting it since 2012 in our programs. Like, women, you have to wear green because it is the color of vitality, and it is the color that makes you feel like you are approachable. 

So as a result, whenever you wear green, people say, ‘Oh my God, you look good.’ Men remember that you wore green—if you’re a straight woman. And I think it’s a color you should be wearing on first dates, the color you should be wearing when you’re at a networking event, and absolutely the color you should be wearing when you’re at the open bar at a wedding where you can meet other single people.”

CBS:
“And again, really—how much do you charge? I’m serious.”

Maria:
“We’ll talk about it later.”

CBS:
“You don’t want to say?”

“After 12 meetings, she’ll tell you that.”

CBS:
“Okay, all right. Matchmaker Maria, thank you very much. It’s been a pleasure.”

CBS (joking):
“That sounds like it’s expensive. Please come back.”