DEAR MARIA, All of my friends are now married, and all of my work friends are married. How will I ever meet single successful guys? – NO MORE SINGLE FRIENDS
DEAR NO MORE SINGLE FRIENDS,
It looks like you’ve laid out a problem, but the effect you describe does not correlate. I only point this out because you likely need a shift in perspective.
I would venture to guess that you probably were not eye-ing and of your friends or co-workers, and if so, kudos for surrounding yourself with such successful people! They probably have single and successful friends! Get them to match you up! However, since most likely you’re not eye-ing your Direct Network of friends, I suppose you mean that now that everyone around you is married, you’re no longer meeting any single people.
Fact: All of your friends are married.
Fact: All of your work friends are married.
Fact: Just because they are married doesn’t mean that there is a scarcity of single and successful men.
There are two reasons why you are not meeting single men.
- You have no one to go out with with the focus of meeting new men at happy hours and events.
- When you go out with your non-single friends, you’re either the third wheel or they undermine your potential for meeting new people because they “want to have dinner” or it’s “just a night with the girls”. Essentially, they are the biggest obstacle you have right now to meeting someone awesome.
Wait! There is a third reason! Your Direct Network sucks. What is a Direct Network? Well, to visualize, it’s what your day to day looks like with regards to the activities that you involve yourself in and who you meet in the process. Try this: Put your name in a circle. Now begin building your network, sort of like a spider web. You have your established friends/family, work, maybe an alumni group you belong to, or a church or temple.
On average, most people have about three to four networks that they actively participate on a monthly basis. When you’re single, and all of your friends are not, three to four networks doesn’t cut it. You need to increase it! By increasing your direct network, you meet more people. Meeting more people = new single friends, some of which you can go out to events with and others that you can hopefully date! There are a hundreds of ways to increase your direct network. Picking up new hobbies is usually the easiest way as long as they involve other people!
Need tips on increasing your network? Try the below!
- Join Eventsy.com. Eventsy is an upscale events and adventures group that curates a variety of events for New Yorkers. They have loads of really cool events that attract a great crowd!
- Join MeetUp.com. Have you always wanted to belong to a hiking group? Or learn how to Salsa? MeetUp is the website that provides free event listings in your area. Search by interest, find a meet up group to join!
- Join Agape Match’s Group Date Coaching Bootcamp. You’ll instantly have 11 new single friends that will LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to go out with you to a speed dating event, networking happy hour, or fancy gala. (Plus we give you all the tools, skills, and strategy to get you meeting and dating men that are most compatible to you.)
