| Hi reader,
I sat down with Mark Greene this week on the Ask a Matchmaker podcast to talk about the toxic culture of masculinity and let me tell you, this episode is a must-watch.
Mark writes, speaks, and consults on the challenges we face as men, women and non-binary people impacted by our dominance-based culture of masculinity, and he articulates what I’ve never had words for. I always thought that we just lived in a patriarchy, but he peels things back a layer deeper.
Within the patriarchy–AKA–the structures that advantage men over women–there are systems that condition men to behave in a certain way. This behavior is dominance-based and hierarchical, and the rules are as follows:
- Don’t show your emotions
- Be a breadwinner, not a caregiver
- Never ask for help
- Have power over women and girls
Men are taught these rules from infancy by their parents, teachers, coaches, TV, and mass media. This culture of masculinity exists because there was a collective agreement on how men “should” be men. This is what Mark calls “Man Box culture.”
The problem is this agreement is generations old, and it stems from a deep trauma from the Great Depression, the Second World War, and the Industrial Revolution. Not to mention, it’s actually hurting men.
Mark says that when we tell young boys to not show their emotions, we’re cutting them off from the ability to express themselves in nuanced ways. This is why we end up with so many men with avoidant attachment styles. They don’t know how to express themselves emotionally in relationships because they’ve never felt like they were allowed to.
I know this sounds all doom and gloom, but I promise we end on a hopeful message. If you’re looking for a powerful and thought-provoking conversation to listen to, tune into the episode on Apple Music, Spotify, or YouTube, and be sure to SUBSCRIBE when you do!
If you’re interested in learning more about his work, you can follow Mark Greene on Instagram @remakingmanhood and visit his website here. |
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